


Monsters

by cathrheas



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Extremely Dubious Consent, F/F, Gaslighting, Past Sexual Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Repressed Memories, Some pre-time skip content as well as pre-game content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-01
Updated: 2019-08-01
Packaged: 2020-07-28 21:24:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20070823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cathrheas/pseuds/cathrheas
Summary: In hindsight, Catherine should have known that her problem (if it was even a problem) with remembering her moments with Rhea was exclusive to her. When she talked about her memories of Rhea being blocked out, other people gave her funny looks. Said they remembered Rhea just fine. Joked about Catherine being old.Turns out, she probably just didn’t want to remember. Not after the monster hunt.





	Monsters

**Author's Note:**

> Please read the tags and carefully decide if you would like to read this, as I do not wish to upset anyone. 
> 
> Found it really odd how Catherine didn't remember the context of a memory that was surely important to her—being personally healed and coddled by someone she looked up to—in her support with Seteth. And in Byleth's support, she outright admits to wanting Lady Rhea's attention. 
> 
> None of those are valid reasons for writing this, actually...I just have a lot of problems. Clearly.
> 
> Anyway I know I said that this ship doesn't have to be angsty, but Rhea, as most of you will discover if you haven't already, is a pretty fucked up character. Like just totally fucked. Kinda hard to write her in a healthy relationship
> 
> ...but I'll try. eventually.

Catherine’s memories of Rhea were always foggy at best. It seemed like every appearance Rhea made before her was ethereal and temporary, never to be held in one’s mind for too long. It upset Catherine, greatly. How could she expect Rhea to remember her if she couldn’t even remember Rhea? Catherine wondered if it was an act of holy magic. If Rhea was too good for the world to be seen by it.

Whatever it was, it left Catherine’s memory hazy. There was one particular memory, though, that stayed in her mind. It was Rhea, and her, in the infirmary. Catherine was sore and tired, and Rhea was calm and loving. That was all she could remember, until Seteth enlightened her. He wasn’t exactly kind in the way he approached the topic, but then again, he was never too kind about anything.

_ Monster hunting, _ Catherine thought later, reminded of Seteth’s words. She was training when she thought about it. Rhea often came to her mind at the strangest times.  _ Yeah. I remember now. I was...what, seventeen? We were monster hunting in the woods, I ran ahead, and...then we were back at the monastery... _

The training dummy she was swinging at bobbed back and forth as she swung at it, but it stopped suddenly. She paused, staring at the dummy and thinking of that night in the woods. No, she wasn’t thinking of the woods, she was thinking about the infirmary, and Rhea, and the only clear memory Catherine had managed to bring up since she was a teenager.

* * *

In hindsight, Catherine should have known that her problem (if it was even a problem) with remembering her moments with Rhea was exclusive to her. When she talked about her memories of Rhea being blocked out, other people gave her funny looks. Said they remembered Rhea just fine. Joked about Catherine being old.

Turns out, she probably just didn’t want to remember. Not after the monster hunt.

Her and Seteth’s accounts of the hunt differed slightly. He seemed to think she got herself into some serious trouble by running ahead, but she only remembered a victory beyond the hilt of her sword. But Seteth must have been right in some way or another, because she remembered being injured, she remembered sharp pain, and she remembered laying on the bed of the infirmary and trying her hardest not to cry out.

And, surprisingly, she remembered Rhea coming to see her.

That was a dream come true for her, then. She still wanted Rhea’s attention, as an adult, but when she was a teenager, it was worse. Rhea was a celebrity to her. And for Rhea to walk into the infirmary, hands clasped regally, just to see  _ Catherine... _

Catherine, at the time, thought she might have died and went to heaven.

Catherine didn’t know what to do. That was the first time she’d ever been with Rhea alone. Not even Manuela was there. Rhea smiled down at Catherine, and Catherine just layed there, looking up in awe. Then, Rhea spoke to her. “How are you doing, Catherine? We are all very worried about you.”

The air in the infirmary was so thick, Catherine didn’t know if she could speak. Her mouth was dry. “Fine,” she managed to say. “What happened...?”

“You let your excitement get the best of you,” Rhea said, but she was smiling as she shook her head. “But, you will be fine. I healed you personally. The Goddess has sent you a blessing by allowing you to walk this Earth after sustaining injuries such as yours.”

They must have been some awful injuries, too. Catherine could barely roll over, and when she did, her side began to ache. She cried out, and Rhea came rushing over—but not before she shut the door behind her.

Rhea whispered lowly to her, asked her where it was hurting. “My hip,” Catherine whimpered, ashamed to be putting on such a display in front of Lady Rhea. She wanted to look strong,  _ be _ strong, so that Lady Rhea could trust her.

Rhea rolled Catherine over onto her back again, and Catherine hissed in pain. “I’m sorry, my dear. I need to get a better look at you,” Rhea said. She pushed Catherine’s shirt up, just past her navel, then ran her fingers across the bandage that was plastered over Catherine’s hip. Catherine flinched at the feeling of pain, but settled into Rhea’s touch as a white glow engulfed the wound and Rhea’s fingertips. Catherine had been healed by white magic before, but never from Lady Rhea...at least, not while she was conscious. Catherine was upset that she could hardly remember the first time Rhea had given her aid.

The pain subsided, and Catherine found herself able to move again, but not too much. Her body was tired more than anything, at that point. She felt dizzy and she wanted to sleep, but Rhea was there, and she couldn’t appear weak. “Thank you,” Catherine said, then attempted to sit up.

Surprisingly, it wasn’t her sore body that stopped her, but Rhea’s hand. With a light touch, Rhea urged Catherine back onto the cot. Catherine furrowed her brow. “There’s no need to go anywhere right now,” Rhea said. “Please, allow me to inspect you further. You’re one of our most talented students, Catherine. You certainly need to be clear of any harm or injury.”

Catherine was conflicted; she wanted to show Rhea how strong she was, how resilient she was, but Rhea herself was telling Catherine to relax. Looking back, Catherine realized her priorities were all wrong. Rhea had closed and locked the door behind her, had essentially pinned Catherine to the bed, and was slowly pushing Catherine’s shirt up her torso. Even with all of those red flags, Catherine was still trying to impress her in the midst of all her teenage...what? Teenage what? Was it admiration? Or something else? Catherine didn’t want to admit that she was attracted to Rhea, because that would have meant that all of her worrying was for nothing, right? That what had happened in the infirmary after that cursed monster hunt was perfectly fine.

But it couldn’t have been. Not when Catherine stopped every memory of Rhea in its tracks.

At least,  _ almost _ every memory. Because, as she stood there, staring down the training dummy, she was remembering everything at a frightening pace. Like it was happening right then and there, like Rhea was pushing her shirt up, up, and over her head.

She felt Rhea’s hands, too. On the skin of her abdomen, feeling up the muscles that Catherine had worked on so diligently so that Rhea’d pay attention to her. And it was happening. And Catherine couldn’t move, she was so tired. She felt as if she would fall asleep any second. But her heart was beating too fast to let her rest.

“You’ve been working hard, Catherine. So, so hard,” Rhea said. 

“I-I have,” Catherine replied, then cursed herself for her lack of etiquette. But Rhea was finally  _ seeing _ her. She didn’t know  _ what _ to say.

Rhea saw Catherine’s growing weakness. She saw Catherine growing nervous at Rhea’s imposing presence. One hand continued to stroke Catherine’s uninjured hip, while the other went to Catherine’s hair, comforting her. “I’m so glad you’re safe.”

“Lady Rhea,” Catherine called out. She was ignored. Rhea didn’t stop petting her, soothing her, but her free hand betrayed her true intentions. She undid the buckle of Catherine’s belt single-handedly. Catherine’s breath caught. What was Rhea doing? What was happening? Catherine understood it, she understood it very well, but she didn’t. Why was Lady  _ Rhea _ doing that to her? “Lady Rhea. I-I can’t breathe...”

“Don’t worry, Catherine. You’re breathing just fine.”

“I’m not. I-I can’t. Please—”

“Everything will be alright,” Rhea insisted, in such a way that Catherine could not argue. So she sat back and allowed Lady Rhea’s will to be done, and came to the conclusion that, yes, she was fine, and, sure, it felt good. Even if she didn’t look at Rhea’s face the whole time, even if she was trying her hardest to erase every little purr of encouragement from her memory, forever. She was still breathing, even though sometimes it felt like Rhea was  _ choking _ her.

And then it was over as quickly as it started. Catherine was wiped out after she’d finished, sweaty and shaky. Her body was dead weight. She felt like someone had picked her up and slammed her into the cot, she couldn’t move. Somehow, like magic, Rhea redressed her, even when she didn’t move. She held Catherine’s cheek in her hand. The one that had been in Catherine moments before. Catherine wanted to cry, but she only managed a hiccup. Rhea told her that she’d been doing so well, that she’d be one of the greatest Knights of Seiros when she graduated, that Rhea was going to be watching over her.

And that was it. Rhea left and never spoke of it again—if she did, Catherine decided to forget it. Years later, Catherine had finally come to remember something about Rhea, and it was something that she was probably better off forgetting. 

She knocked the training dummy off of its pedestal in one hit, then walked away.

* * *

It was hard to find alone time with Rhea, with a new professor in their midst and Seteth always in Lady Rhea’s ear about her. But Catherine finally did. Rhea was talking with Byleth when Catherine entered, but as soon as Byleth left, it was only Catherine and Rhea.

Catherine froze up. Then she threw a smile on her face, swaggered up to Rhea like she’d do any other time. “Hey, Lady Rhea,” Catherine said, a question in her voice.

Rhea smiled at her. She hadn’t aged a bit since then, Catherine believed, but she still looked so motherly. “Catherine. What can I help you with?”

“I was talking to Seteth earlier today, and he brought something up that made me remember something.” Catherine paused. Lady Rhea’s expression remained the same, neutral but kind. “You know, when something just kinda...strikes you.”

“Yes, I understand...”

“Yeah, well...so, back when I was a student here. Do you remember this monster hunt we went on? According to Seteth, I was badly injured, and you healed me,” Catherine explained. “You remember that at all?”

Lady Rhea closed her eyes, and Catherine clenched her teeth. For the first time, she felt anger towards Lady Rhea. She thought about how she felt like she was being choked, like her chest had a weight on it, and how Rhea didn’t listen, and all she could think was,  _ how could you possibly forget this? _ “Yes, I believe I do. Although, that particular situation wasn’t the only time you’d gotten yourself into some serious trouble.”

Rhea laughed, and Catherine did, too. But it was hard. Because she couldn’t breathe again. She was remembering a lot of things, too many things, and she was starting to realize that maybe it was good that she made herself forget them all, because it didn’t stop in the infirmary, did it? No, it didn’t, but she let it keep happening, over and over— “Man, those were the days,” Catherine said, chuckling so loudly that Rhea had to know it was fake. “Yeah, but, uh...listen. Did anything strange happen? After you healed me? Anything at all? Maybe I’m imagining it, but...I kinda remember something weird going on in the infirmary.”

“Something ‘weird’?”

_ Don’t make me say it. You know. Don’t make me say it. _ “Yeah. It’s kinda hazy, but—”

“It  _ was _ quite a while ago. And you had been very badly injured. Your life was only in the hands of the Goddess at that point,” Rhea said. “There’s no doubt that your memory might be failing you.”

“I thought so, too. But when Seteth brought it up to me, I started to remember things. A lot of things.”

“Catherine,” Lady Rhea said. Her tone was a warning one. “I advise you not to let your imagination get the best of you.”

“Well, this isn’t my imagination. This happened,” Catherine snapped. “It happened. And all I’m asking is for you to acknowledge me. Something happened there, Lady Rhea! And it happened again and again after that! So don’t act like it didn’t!”

Lady Rhea looked at Catherine with admonishment, but Catherine didn’t back down. She couldn’t. Rhea was finally going to see her, wasn’t she? “Catherine. You are stepping out of line. I am going to ask you once more to rein in your emotions and lower your voice.  _ Nothing _ happened. You made a foolish mistake, nearly got yourself killed, and  _ I _ gave you the blessing of life. I do not know what you’re trying to imply, but that is  _ all _ that happened, and I am not too pleased that you’re insinuating anything else.”

“C-come on. You can’t do this,” Catherine said. “I don’t care anymore. Nobody else has to know. I don’t even care. But don’t just...don’t just ignore me—”

“There is nothing to ignore, Catherine,” Rhea said flatly. “And that is the end of the discussion. I do not know what all Seteth said to you, but whatever it was obviously upset you. If you would like to have a proper conversation with me about whatever or whoever is torturing you like this, I would be more than happy to guide you, but not if you are going to act this way. That is all. Please take your leave.”

And Catherine didn’t know what else to say, what else to do, because maybe she was making it up. She had to be. Because Rhea wouldn’t lie to her, right? Rhea, who had saved her life. Rhea, who told her how  _ strong _ and  _ hard-working _ she was. Rhea, who loved her more than anyone else. 

Rhea, who didn’t even notice her.


End file.
